i just woke up from the strangest dream. i was living in this old apartment complex with a rectangular pool, and i had ming-na wen's voice but i looked exactly like my half-sister (read: trashy asian). i had just discovered in the pool that the entire ocean floor was just a sealed spongey cover for a world underneath, and the bottom of the pool also had these spongey openings on the side. i knew it was a secret pathway to the world underneath! and i was swimming in the pool alone when i realized this and as soon as i started to rush out, the pool started quaking and trying to suck me in. but i was too deft. i ran out to warn my family about my findings when upon returning home, i saw my little sister, who was lilo from lilo and stitch, covered with these festering black scabs. and i knew she had been in the pool and to the other world and now was dying of infection! i fretted but nobody would get her help and nobody would believe what i found out about the ocean netherworld and my brother-in-law was peter gallagher and he kept saying, slightly off-topic: "At least I can get a job and provide for all of us. Thank God I got a Ph.D. in Postal Services!" then just as i was about to put on aqua eyeshadow, i noticed black scabs sprouting on my arm and i screamed and woke up.

i can only hope the aqua eyeshadow was a disguise for slinking by the pool monster to look for a cure.

even in my dream i was thinking, 'there must be a movie like this already!'

i just had a strange, strange dream.

i am somewhere in asia studying to become a stand-up comic. i'm in the library researching old asian love stories because my like, shtick is funny love stories [lame huh], and i meet two american boys named dave, a really hot japanese girl named something like kayoko, and this thai guy that looks exactly like one i knew in junior high. i go, "hi, i'm annie" and he goes, "hey, i'm..." and then proceeds to say his name for fifteen syllables. i laugh at him because i assume it is a joke. it isn't.

so then kayoko and i are wandering the streets when i run into robert, who is cursing loudly into his cell phone in english. i'm like, "toi!! nondescriptboy!!!" because his real name escapes me, and he is all, "who the fuck are you? uh, i mean... ça va?"

after grumbling about how we are meeting "before our time", he then deposits kayoko and me into an elevator bar where we promptly get drunk and make out. afterwards, i feel the need to run and wake myself up because if i don't hurry, my dream won't seem funny anymore by the time i get it into post form.

so i wake up, come online to post, and of course my dream isn't funny anymore. except for when the thai guy tells me his name. ha ha!

guess you had to be there.

i dreamt of the future, and the future smelled like you.