i dreamt i could fly! i was wearing a blond wig and fighting charlize theron inside a huge mall. she could also fly, better than i could, actually, and she kept trying to snatch my wig so i called her a "cunt."

last night i dreamt i escaped from prison in orange pajamas and found my way to the yoga studio where my instructor buddy was choreographing a play. i swore to him that i hadn't busted out of jail and he told me with concern that the phrase "hidden pleasure" was just used on bonanza.

last night i dreamt i took a train with some runaways to brooklyn to go see ozma open for green day. ryen and star were stamping wrists at the door, looking bored. "you look bored," i said. "we are."

last night i dreamt i was starring in the transformers sequel with cami milberger, shooting darts from my wrists as i flew.

last night i dreamt i was in high school again and i made both the cheerleading squad and the marching band but suddenly the school was overrun by zombies and so i ran in thigh-high suede stiletto boots to bravo burger and asked them if they had a tofu pulled "pork" sandwich, a zombie repellent, but they didn't.