i had a dream that the cruise ship i was on was taken over by predators and i was to be caught and killed by one at 10:40pm. i tested fate though and locked myself in the elevator and didn't die. however, i ended up a stripper because of it.

last night i dreamed about an american eagle ghost. american eagle, as in the clothing brand. boo!

the other night i had a nightmare that took place at jason's, starring a cat wearing a two-piece version of my minnie mouse costume, a 7-months pregnant cindy in the bathroom, a tub full of blood, and mummified dead bodies in the garage. i woke up pissy.

i had a dream that i met this middle-aged guy who told me he was the creator and author of the "ninja turtles novel." i was so impressed by this that i slept with him. when i woke up i was like, "what a load of crap" before suddenly realizing i had cheated on my boyfriend, the actor hugh jackman.

in my dream i asked a little boy if i could borrow his big wheels for the BYOBW event and he said yes! i gave him a happy kiss on the forehead then realized with horror that he was probably my son.

last night i dreamt i was in some catacombs to look at skeletons but suddenly there was an earthquake and then an ambush by warriors. my arm got hurt during the chaos but thankfully patrick dempsey was there to diagnose me. he told me it was broken and i would need a cast. i was like, thanks mcdreamy!

i dreamt i could fly! i was wearing a blond wig and fighting charlize theron inside a huge mall. she could also fly, better than i could, actually, and she kept trying to snatch my wig so i called her a "cunt."

last night i dreamt i escaped from prison in orange pajamas and found my way to the yoga studio where my instructor buddy was choreographing a play. i swore to him that i hadn't busted out of jail and he told me with concern that the phrase "hidden pleasure" was just used on bonanza.

last night i dreamt i took a train with some runaways to brooklyn to go see ozma open for green day. ryen and star were stamping wrists at the door, looking bored. "you look bored," i said. "we are."

last night i dreamt i was starring in the transformers sequel with cami milberger, shooting darts from my wrists as i flew.